


Darker nights

by GattinDesElends



Category: Vampire: The Masquerade, Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines (Video Game), World of Darkness (Games)
Genre: Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, English is not my native language, F/M, Insanity, Lima Syndrome, Masochism, Mindfuck, Obsessive Behavior, Pack Dynamics, Paths of Enlightenment, Porn With Plot, Religious Cults, Sabbat (Vampire: The Masquerade), Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide Attempt, Vampires, Vaulderie, a view from the darker side, bloodbond, deal with me, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:54:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22542103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GattinDesElends/pseuds/GattinDesElends
Summary: She was a lost sheep and the sun was so inviting.Darkness captured her instead. Devoured her. Spit her out new and empty and ready to be filled.It wasn't her fault that her mind did what it did. But it was her fault that she didn't run or fight.____________My attempt at capturing the side of the sabbat, including all the messed up inhumane stuff they do and the philosophies they share. The story follows a pack that investigates the L.A. incident.BIG TRIGGER WARNING
Relationships: Malkavian/Ravnos, OC/OC
Comments: 11
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading!
> 
> I would like to issue three warnings before reading. 
> 
> First of all: This story contains dark themes, including rape and torture. You know best if you can handle it. 
> 
> Second: I am not a native english speaker and I don't have a beta reader. I'm happy about corrections concerning the mistakes I probably made and beg you to forgive. 
> 
> Third: I have tried to stay as close to canon as possible, with one exception: Vampires in my story get aroused and can feel pleasure while having sex, contrary to canon. And the plot is just a sorry excuse for writing disturbing stuff to be honest. 
> 
> Also, let's pretend that everyone had a mobile phone back then :D
> 
> Anyways, have fun! (or don't)

She was tired of it all.  
Tired of not seeing the light. Tired of being used and abused. Tired of being a tool, a plaything for the ones in charge. She didn't want this anymore  
No hope was on the horizon, no way out. Favors upon favors to pay and no end to it. False promises adding up to another, all love pretended, no empathy or sympathy left in kindred or kine.

It was time. Time for her to see the light again. Finally. The silver string of hope on the horizon. She could see it now. Clearly. Beautiful. The pain but a small price to pay for absolution.

_God forgive me, for I have sinned. Gravely. Have mercy, oh lord, for this shattered soul._

She was pulled away from the beautiful agony with a jerk. She screamed bloody murder, fought for her right to die, to finally see the sun, to finally feel grace.  
Pain was exploding in her brain, but she was welcoming it with open arms, laughing while bloody tears streamed down her cheeks.

  
„For christ sakes, snap out of it already!“

  
New pain exploding, skin burning. She screamed. Laughed. Moved her body towards the pain, towards the light.

  
„Shit, she's going to get free. Stake her! STAKE HER!“

  
No no no nononononono this wasn't what she wanted. Not this! „LET ME DIE YOU FU-“  
It entered her smoothly, like the sweetest, silkiest of long things she'd ever had.  
Her body stilled.  
She went limp.

  
Her soul kept burning through it all, not settling to rest, resisting the dragging of the daylight somewhere far away from reach. Felt hands holding her, carrying her someplace else, someplace cold but soft, maybe a pillow, maybe a couch. She couldn't see anymore. Couldn't cry anymore. Why did they force her to stay when she wanted to go?

  
„Are the curtains all down?“

  
„Yeah, let me go check again.“

Rummaging, doors being opened and closed again.

  
„Yeah, all closed. No sunlight. So err … what's your plan?“

  
A laugh, rough, male. Sounded like a douchebag. Well yes, of course it was. Douchebags thought they saved you when you just wanted to leave the world once and for all, but they just made you suffer a bit longer. She would have killed this guy if she would have been able to move.

  
„My plan? Shit, I don't know, buddy. But, I mean, it's doesn't happen everyday that you catch one of them trying to suicide, right? Maybe the boss will be happy if we give her to him, ya know. She ain't bad looking. And he's-“  
„-always looking for new recruits. Yeah, I know. I just wonder when it will be my turn. This chick's just making the waiting list longer.“

  
„Woah, calm down. We gotta be helpful, remember? Prove ourselves worthy. This chick could be our ticket into their ranks. We just need to keep her for a day until he's up. Then we call him, he comes over and decides what to do with her. Easy.“

  
Easy her ass. What boss were they even talking about? What were they? Kine? Ghouls? They sounded like kine, but why the hell did they know about kindred? This was a heavy breach of the masquerade!

  
Shit, as if she should care. She shouldn't! She was beyond this shit. Fuck it all. Fuck the rules, fuck the high and mighty vampire society, fuck the bloodletting and hypocrisy and abuse and favors!

  
Every part of her being wanted to scream, wanted to tear apart everything in this world, just so that it was finally allowing her to die in piece and quiet. But it didn't! Fucking cursed her to stay. Was there any damn reason to?

Time didn't fly. It was glibbery like old blood that tried to run through a pipe, almost stuffing it shut sometimes, but then slowly getting swallowed.  
She lay there in darkness, waiting, listening, while getting teared apart again and again by her own soul and her wish to die.

  
The two strangers were doing criminal work in this place, wherever it was. They were selling drugs in high numbers, the hard stuff. Fucked a young girl for the heroin she wanted because she didn't have money. Disgusting pieces of shit. Just slightly better than kindred. She wanted to kill them all. She wanted to suck them dry and get high on their drugged blood herself. Wanted to float on the wave of H, just a few hours, where it was soft and warm and lovely and happy.  
Instead, she was still there. Trapped in her own darkness, within and without.

  
She didn't know when, but the force of the sun was finally pulling her down at one point.  
She came back to, with voices coming closer, hands touching her face, pulling it towards a smoky voice. Male, soft, oddly soothing.

  
„Interesting.“  
„You know her, boss?“  
„I don't. Which is what's interesting.“  
„Oh. But don't you guys know each other or something?“  
„Yes we do, maggot.“ So smooth. So frighteningly smooth. „But this one isn't from around town. Must have sneaked herself in. I wonder why.“  
„Well, she was trying to kill herself in the sunrise. Was screaming like a lunatic when we pulled her inside. Something about wanting to die and a whole lot of other bullshit. Was hard to listen to, made my brain twist, so we staked her. Didn't know what to do with her. I thought you'd like her. If not, we throw her out or something.“

  
Silence. More touching her face. Turning it from one site to the other. The fingers felt rough, cold. She wished they would strangulate her. On second thought that wouldn't have worked anyways. But the soft touch of a blade … lovingly entering her skin, slicing through her brain with warm sounds of the end of her world. Oh how she needed it.

  
But, instead of something entering her, something was leaving her. Fast and with a soft popping sound of her body, her skin tingled where it was closing the wound of the stake.

  
Finally, she was able to open her eyes.

  
The first sight was that of two bottomless pits staring back at her. The beast was screaming inside and out. A hand clamped down around her lips immediately, the pits, the void, coming closer and closer. She tried to wriggle free, struggled and fought, but the hand didn't move an inch. What or whoever was holding her was too strong. She screamed out of desperation against the cold skin, cried blood, but slowly calmed down a tad.

  
„Yeah, see, that's better, isn't it“, the soothing voice said and it felt like it came straight out of the void she saw staring back at her. Then the void was blinking and a whole lot of fear went missing when she realized that she was looking into scarily black eyes and not into pitchblack nothingness. Eyes. Not hell. Still not dead.  
„You“, black orbs darting to someone behind her, hands waving them over. „Open up for her, will you?“

  
The next thing she knew was sweetest nectar running down her lips and her tongue and she sucked and swallowed before she could stop herself, was pushing up her battered body, was clawing herself into the sweet sensation, the soft skin, the struggling life she was craving. But no matter how much, it wasn't enough. Her skin tingled, sunburns slowly closing, life running through her fingers into dark, sweet nothingness. She wanted to follow to that place but couldn't. So she stopped. Wanted to stop the life flowing into her and wanted to let it flow out again.

  
She started scratching, to get it out. „No, not right. Not right. This is not what I want. This is giving new fuel, but I want it to deplete. It can't deplete like that. Get it out. GET IT OUT!“

  
„Calm down!“  
The voice was so commanding that it shook her to the core. She froze. Stopped moving completely.  
Hands grabbed her, forced her arms away from her body, forced her to look into the bottomless eyes again.

  
„I will save you!“ The voice had so much compassion that she wanted to believe it to be true for a second. „I will teach you what brought you to this state. I will teach you joy, true loyalty and give you a family.“ So much vigor. Emphasis. She cried. Clung to his leather jacket.

„There is no such thing in this world!“  
„Allow me to prove you wrong.“

  
He was beautiful in his own way. His frightening bottomless eyes, the smooth, voluptuous lips, the flawless white skin of a statue.

  
„You aren't kindred“, she breathed, eyes wide.

  
„No, I am not. I am cainite. And you, you will be too.“


	2. Chapter 2

„You are a Malkavian, aren't you?“

  
„I … I think?“

  
„You have felt the wrongness of them, of the Camarilla and their teachings, have you not? Were forced to be their pawn, their plaything, just a slave to their whims on a daily basis. Your insight must be great and your suffering even greater because of that.“

  
He was sitting there, somewhere in the darkness. She didn't see him, but she saw his colors, a soft, relaxed blue, flowing through his body, so calming and in a steady rythm. This man was in peace with himself. She wanted a part of that, just a small part, instead of getting teared apart. New blood was streaming down her cheeks without her noticing. Life essence leaving her out of sheer agony.

  
„You were able to see their evil, their rotten machinations, manipulation and control and were unable to stop it or help yourself. You were desperate. Helpless. Suffering. Am I right?“

  
She cried some more. „Everything in this world is evil. There is no end to this.“

  
„I know.“ The words were simple. Calm, smooth, smoky, understanding. The truth. He said the truth. She could see it in his aura. Finally someone said the truth. Didn't lie, didn't try to hide it behind a false smile and promises supposed to bait you.

She was waiting for him to speak. Was finally willing to listen. Finally giving him a chance to say what he had to say.

  
„What you need to understand, little one, is that this world is including us. And that means, we are evil creatures aswell, just like everything else in this world. But, I think, you are already understanding this, don't you? Isn't this why you tried to find final death? Because you were unable to accept it?“

  
She couldn't say a thing, teeth forced shut, jaw cramped. Just stared at his colors. She didn't see empathy, but something passionate. Something tingling in his soul she could not pinpoint. It frightened and fascinated her at the same time.

  
Slowly, she nodded.

  
He leaned forward with vigor all of a sudden, probably staring blankly at her, but she couldn't see it in the darkness and the bloody tears stealing her sight.  
„I will help you understand, neonate. Your suffering will seize to exist. The Sabbat will teach you that one such as us can find warmth in only the darkest of places. There I will take you. And I will tell you the truth about our existence. About the invisible chains binding us to the Antediluvians and this will set you free for all eternity. No more slavery, sweet childe. No more doubts. Soon you will be able to embrace your existence. Embrace every part of yourself. I will unbind your shackles, will open your eyes even further. Just give yourself into my hands! Trust me to lead you to peace of the mind. You can still kill yourself if you regret it, can you not?“

  
He had said it. The Sabbat. Epitome of evil. But this epitome was speaking the truth. She could see it. His colors were in harmony with his words. He was absolutely convinced of it, was not trying to lull her into feeling safe with empty phrases. This darkness of his was earnest. He was really willing to try it. Wanted to help her. She knew for what reason. He needed recruits. But she didn't care, as long as he was able to give her what he promised. Freedom. Peace.  
She was silent for a while. Was thinking about it.

  
„It is worth a try I suppose. It can't get worse than that.“

  
He clapped his hands once, before standing up. „Excellent!“ He came closer, took her hands into his own very carefully, looked her in the eyes again and, this time, she could see him. His darkness, but his peace at the same time. She was so very greedy for it. For … anything, really. And it scared her to death.

  
„My name is Leonardo Venti. It's a pleasure. Might I ask you for a small favor? Please, would you make a call for me?“

  
A call? Why couldn't he do it himself? She was tired of … he was holding up a flickering phone. Oh.  
„That's broken, you know.“

  
The hint of a grin twitched over his lips for a second, before placing the phone into her hands and folding her fingers around it, lightly tapping them as if to encourage her.  
„Believe me, it is totally fine.“

  
His hands left. The flickering stilled. She opened her fingers and stared at the normal display.  
„But … it was just … you know, the lights and … you've seen this too, right?“

  
He looked like he had to collect all his patience not to snap at her. She was a bit scared and instinctively winced. Instead, his calm voice didn't change one bit in pitch.  
„I have seen it, young one. My … condition is causing it. Which is why I need you to do the call for me.“

  
„Oh.“ She felt stupid. „Sorry.“

  
He ignored her words. Instead, he was patiently giving her the PIN code, was instructing her to call 'Caleb' and turn on the speakers. She did as she was told and was listening to the ringing for a bit, before someone took the call.

  
_„Leo, where the fuck are you?“_

  
She was looking up at the stranger who was standing next to her motionless, except for his eyes that were roaming her as if he was still taking in that she was there.  
„I'm at the crackhouse. The boys have found a little something for us. Aaand that something was just about to see her last sunrise before they staked her.“

  
_„Her?“_

  
„Yeah. She's still a bit … out of it. Well, maybe that's her normal, no idea.“

  
_„And?“_

  
„And then I was thinking: What a nice opportunity for me to welcome a new sister to our ranks! And look at that, she already knows so much. We just have to help her to accept the truth and … _embrace_ it.“

  
The person on the other end was sighting, talking to himself. _„Oh boy, there he goes again. Leo, why don't you bring her over and we discuss this with everyone present?“_

  
She was nodding, looking at him. Now it was him who sighted and rolled his eyes.  
„Fine, give us a few minutes, spoilsport!“ And then he hung up, simple as that, while she was tilting her head and was watching him thoughtfully.

  
„If you plan to make me suffer, I'd prefer to kill myself instead, you know“, she explained. „You could watch, if you want.“ She shrugged.

  
Leo was sighting again, before he positioned his hands on her shoulders and was looking into her eyes with that blank stare of his.  
„No, girl, I won't do that. Your death would be a waste of good material. I believe you have potential, but you need me to show you how to unleash it. And this does not work without suffering. But you will be better after that, trust me. I know what I am doing. Don't think that I've never experienced hardships in my life. I have lost everything dear to me and rose from the ashes like a dark phoenix. We need to strip you naked, neonate. And when you lie bare before your beast, I will make you see the truth.“

  
„I … I don't like the sound of that. The beast … i don't want the beast. No, no, that's dangerous!“

  
„Which is the point“, he whispered darkly, grasping her cheeks with his hands and caressing them like a lover, a sinister smile dancing over his lips. „Be scared if you want to. Me and my pack will lead you through this. You either succeed or die. What is there to be scared of?“  
He was right. She had wanted to die anyways. What was there to lose when there was nothing left she held dear? She swallowed. Was nodding again, her whole body shaking from fear. His voice was so soothing. Like a poisonous lullaby.  
„Good“, he breathed. „Follow me to the family.“

They didn't take her as an equal. She felt it in her guts, more that she knew it on a rational level. They stared holes into her soul, unforgiving, judging, dismissing.  
Five vampires, surrounding her like a pack of wolves, circling her like she was their pray, examining her like she was nothing more but a lump of flesh and bones.  
„It is soft“, one of them snarled, squeezing her arm, sniffing her hair. She tried not to jerk, but she would not have been able to anyways. The female Gangrel was holding her in a vice-like grip. „It's scared like a bloodbag. I say we hunt and eat it.“

  
„She's so weak that it's not worth it“, another one said, a tall, young looking guy with black hair falling into his eyes. He had his arms crossed and was now gesturing towards her, one eyebrow raised. „I mean, look at her! She's shaky. I would NEVER eat something like that. Kill her? Maybe. You! Are you following the path of humanity?“

  
„Oh please“, a third one laughed. A guy in his forties who looked like an old warrior. „She obviously is. I bet she doesn't even have a clue what we are talking about. Anyways, I agree with Leo. Remember our cause, guys. We need more people. Who knows what this one might be capable of.“

  
She swallowed hard, looking to Leonardo for help, but finding none. He was leaning against the wall, quietly watching the cainites who were deciding her future.  
The fourth one was the scariest of all. A creature she could hardly call a vampire anymore, the face overgrown with a surreal mask of bone plates, the eyes a striking, reptile like yellow, bony spikes growing out of the weirdest places.  
Its voice was made of sandpaper, raspy, menacing, inhuman.  
„Isn't the real question wether or not we want a vinculum with a Malkavian?“, he drawled, stepping closer, until he was standing next to the female Gangrel, eyes examining the neonates face as if she was a ware to be kept or dumped.

  
„Tell me, young one, do you think we can handle your blood?“  
She blinked. Blinked again. Was looking at him and not at the same time for a while, the shaking finally gone.

  
„I don't think it will make you as sad as I am“, she whispered, still seeing through him.  
It was as if this was the sign that Leo had been waiting for. He was clearing his throat, hands folded infront of his body, looking from one pack member to the next.

  
„Well, whatever. Is anyone completely unwilling to at least try and open her eyes? Because no matter what you think about this particular catch, a Malk can be worth their weight in gold and I want this one in.“

  
None of them spoke up, although the Gangrel snarled a bit.  
„I knew you would like her“, Leo concluded with a sinister grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that some stuff gets clear later in the story (if not, I am very sorry and will try to correct it)


	3. Chapter 3

The building they were using as their hide-out was an abandonned warehouse near the cargo docks, surrounded by a high fence that announced the property as restricted area.

  
High shelves were dividing the huge hall into segments and someone had taken their time to decorate sections with old palettes that now worked as makeshift walls, while parts of the thus existing rooms were entirely made of something resembling skin tissue. She didn't want to look too closely while she was following Leo through the maze of strechted organs and wood planks. He was chatting quietly with her, his voice helping her to concentrate on something else but her surroundings.

  
„What is your name?“  
„Erin. Erin Harper.“  
„Huh, never heard of you.“  
„Because I'm not a shark.“  
„... yeah, whatever.“  
„You guys aren't sharks either.“  
„So, you haven't heard of us yet?“  
„I've heard of the Sabbat, but not of a Leonardo Venti.“

  
His head tilted as he watched her from the corner of his eyes for a second, lips twitching in amusement. „Have you heard of any other sabbat?“  
„Well ...“  
„Yeah, that's what I thought. The Camarilla likes to keep the sheep distracted. But I won't complain.“  
He chuckled quietly, before looking ahead of them again. He took a turn to the left and she was picking up voices from somewhere. Whimpers and cries.  
„You … have people here?“  
He looked over his shoulder and rose a brow in question. „People? Not that I knew. Just a few juicebags, that's all. I can ask Raphael to sew their lips, if you find them too- why are you looking at me like that?“  
„... you truly are sabbat! This is terrible! Why are you nice to me? Why am I here? Why did I follow you? I want to die, please. That's why I came here. You are not supposed to be nice. You are supposed to kill me, you know. Isn't that what you guys normally do with kindred? You hate the Camarilla, don't you? You clearly have no empathy left in you. How are you even able to not lose your mind to the beast? Why aren't you wights? This isn't logic! People … people like you! You should all have been devoured by your beasts long ago, but instead you are doing your evil stuff with kine and kindred and are nice to me and I don't know why and don't-“  
„Geez, shut up already! My head is spinning because of you!“

„... sorry. Kill me please?“

„No.“

  
„You know, I just came here because I thought, if I can't bear the sunlight long enough, I could still find Final Death by the hands of the Sabbat. And you refuse to play your role and now the order is gone and everything is unruly and I don't know what's right or wrong anymore and-“  
„Erin!“  
„Yes?“  
„Nothing in this world is right or good, especially not cainites. The sooner you get that into your cute little weirdo head, the better.“  
He was placing one of his large hands in her back, opening a makeshift door with the other hand and gently shoving her in. She hesitantly entered the room, slowly took in its surroundings but was realizing soon, that there was nothing inside. It was just an empty, small room that didn't even have any lights. She realized that she didn't feel his hand in her back anymore and spun around, just to see the last inches of door closing behind her. She was rushing to the entrance, but it was too late. The door was closed. She was trapped.

  
Fingers scratched over the metallic surface.  
„Leonardo! Please, let me out!“  
„Soon, little one“, his dark voice answered from the other site, still as calm as ever, but she was sure she was hearing a hint of amusement this time. „Trust me, this is in your own interest. You'll understand this very soon. You need to suffer before you can get better. So, try to enjoy it.“  
„Enjoy it?“, she whined, disbelief heavy in her voice. „You tricked me, you bastard!“  
„Yeah, well“, he chuckled. „I don't think you would have let us rip your precious humanity off you voluntarily. Which is necessairy if you want to be free. Currently, you are in a mental state of self denial. So, of course, your mind breaks at some point. Your subconscious already knows what you do not.“  
She felt new tears forming in her eyes and tried to blink them away. She went limp on the door and leaned against it, pressed her ear to the metal in order to hear him better and his soothing voice. Why was it that she still liked him, even though he was obviously as abusive as everyone else? Maybe because he was not trying to hide it.

  
„What is it that I supposedly already know?“, she whispered and closed her eyes, not holding back the tears anymore. Her life was over. She was ruined. If it had not been official before, now it definetly was. She had just wanted to die. Instead, she had somehow managed to get herself into the clutches of the Sabbat. The realization that she didn't want to be a part of any of this struck her way too late. She was in their hands now, stupid enough to feel hope for a second. She should have known better. There was no hope to hold onto. Just more torture. And now she would have to bear even more suffering. She should have ended it when she had still been able to do so. Shouldn't have hesitated for so long. Because she was feeling deep in her guts that whatever was going to happen to her would change her forever.

  
She could hear him close to her, just a thin layer of metal between them. It was a closeness which she was unsure wether to appreciate or hate. Leonardo, the changer of fates. What he did to her was wrong and right at the same time. She was going to lose a very precious part of herself to his cruel teachings. She didn't know what or how, but felt that his plans were too alien for her to accept anyways.

  
„Subconsciously, you already know that you are clinging to a moral system that was made by and meant for humans“, he whispered and she could hear him smiling darkly, clearly enjoying himself. „Thus, you are not in line with yourself and suffer from it. The moral system I mean. But do you know what the funny part is about your precious path of humanity? The longer you live, the more you feel the beast breaking through to the surface. One day you will realize that you are losing your fight against it. Realize, that you can't surpress it. Because it is a part of your nature, darling. And when this time comes, maybe in a year, maybe in a hundred, then you will desperately start looking for help and guidance. For someone who can save you from yourself. And guess where this leads you?“

  
„... to you or to wassail?“

  
„Exactly! So, basically, I am just speeding things up a bit. It would have happened anyways, sooner or later. Therefore do me the favor: be a good girl and don't resist it. That would be a hassle.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wassail = the mental state of a vampire in neverending frenzy (which happens if they lose all humanity)  
> Wight = a being in wassail


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter isn't for the faint of heart

Caleb didn't like this one bit. The girl was too weak and too crazy. He didn't want her twisted blood in his system for the death of him, but didn't find it in him to go against Leonardos wishes either. He was his ductus after all and, even worse, had an established vinculum towards him. So Caleb loved him and hated him just as much. Leo was a jerk, but he was his jerk. Like a bad big brother.

He frowned at him when he made his way out of the Malks cell, arms crossed infront of his chest and his lips a thin line of discontent.

„Listen Leo, this is a fucking bad idea“ he snarled. „I'm talking Vaulderie, you know. Did it ever cross your mind that the whole pack could just go batshit insane if your little experiment joins us?“

Leo sighted, but didn't stop his walk and was approaching him with a relaxed motion, lightless eyes fixed at the unhappy cainite, before placing his hands on his shoulders and touching his forehead with his own.

Caleb growled but was allowing it nonetheless.

„Oh brother“ his ductus breathed. „I understand your fears. You think she is going to weaken us, don't you?“

„Yeah“ he hissed, eyes piercing through Leos black orbs right into his tainted soul. „Plus she's come straight out of the Cammies ass. It wouldn't surprise me if she decided to crawl back where she came from. She's the enemy! And not even a strong one. Not worth it! A fucking waste of unlife if you ask me. I wouldn't even trouble myself with diablerizing her.“

Leo hummed, lips twitching, eyes unmoving. He took the bigger ones cheeks into his hands and held him close like a lover, leaning forwards until his lips were touching his ears. „Trust me“ he whispered. „She'll be like a rabid pitbull, once we are done with her. You'll love it.“

Caleb felt a shiver run down his spine, but was unable to move away from his ductus, enthralled by the adictive sound of his satiny voice and the softness of his skin and was hating it at the same time. He was disgusted by the emotional closeness he felt for the sly Lasombra, but he couldn't help himself. Caleb had caught a bad case of vinculum and there was no way to get rid of the intense feeling of the blood bond, no matter how hard he tried, so he didn't. Hadn't fought it in years, actually. The positive side was, that Leo was bound to him just as much. Just like the other pack members. Their loyalties had been woven to be unbreakable. If you drink the blood of your packmates every month through the ritual of Vaulderie, it formed a strong bond over the years, that could only be broken by death.

„Shit, as if loving you four jerks wasn't bad enough already“ he half joked.

„I wouldn't have it any other way“ Leo purred back, finally releasing the tall vampire from his death grip, leaving a few scratches on his cheeks, a vile grin on his lips. „She'll be a good tool, Caleb. And she's cute, so I want to play with her a bit. Pull her strings, break her here and there and see what kind of monster she becomes, once we're done with her. Think of her as your punching bag if you will. Until she's true sabbat, that is.“

He was petting his cheek now, tilting his head, sheepishly smiling. „Fuck her up good and proper, will you?“

Caleb didn't move for a moment, staring blankly at his ductus while thinking about it. Now that he mentioned it, the neonate was a cutie indeed. A tiny girl, petite, big naive eyes, a high pitched voice. It made him want to break her. At the same time he realized that Leo was tempting him to indulge in depravity, just as he always did. After all, nothing had changed over the years. He was still turning his pack into a bunch of vile individuals and Caleb couldn't help but enjoy it.

He slowly nodded, the hint of a smile on his lips which was answered by Leos satisfied hum. „I knew I could convince you“ he whispered, before turning away from him and leaving him to his own devices.

Caleb was standing there for a few minutes, blankly staring into the darkness surrounding him and was realizing that Leo was a good ductus after all. He was able to keep the pack together with his sly manipulations for a reason and even though Caleb knew that he was being played, he could not help but succumb to temptation.

He sucked in air, smelled the dried blood surrounding him, human fecies and the faint sweetness of the Malkavian tears. He was following the trail, feeling his canines pressing against his teethridge in urging lust. And he would give in. After all, it was for his own good. Fear made him weak, and he had always overcome his fears by acting against them. And after Leo had made him realize that he was scared of the Malkavian madness, he would do everything in his power to get rid of this fear. This weakness. He would be the one she was scared of, not the other way around.

He was nothing but a silent, tall shadow when he was opening the door to her cell. She didn't react. Just sat there cross-legged, eyes closed, her upper body rocking back and forth as if she was trying to force herself into a trance. The door slammed shut behind him. She jerked, jumped up, immediately adopting a defensive stance like an animal that was ready to lash out at the threat. That was good, Caleb decided, lips twitching in amusement, while he was approaching her, coming closer and closer with every intention to corner her.

Her nostrils flared. She walked backwards until her back hit the walls of flesh behind her. She made a quiet sound of … anguish. „Wha- wha- what do you want?“ she whined, eyes wide and so very scared.

His lips twitched again and, this time, the sinister smile stayed. „I want you to fight me with everything you have.“ Yeah, he had the feeling that this would help him conquer his fears and her body. If she was to just succumb to his manhandling, it would have felt dull. He needed her to throw her full amount of dementation at him if he wanted to master his skills and his mind. She was staring blankly at him, blinked with a questioning look on her face. Most likely because she didn't understand why anyone would want that when a submissive vampire would have been so much easier to handle.

„Just do it“ he growled, now invading her personal space and smashing a fist into the wall behind her. The fleshcrafted material twitched. Blood was leaking where he had hit it, oozing over his pale fingers. He was looking at it for a second, examining his hand, before his gaze trailed back to the girl. She looked like … yeah, she was crying again. Good.

„Scared, eh?“ he mocked, his grin slowly growing wider, while raising his hand and using his fingers to smear the walls fluids all over her face. She cried louder, coughed in disgust, eyes squeezed shut. He kneaded her skin some more, rubbed in the stinking slime, combined it with the blood of her tears. She squealed, hands flying up to drill her fingers into the skin of his arm, desperately trying to stop him somehow, but still half heartedly. He chuckled darkly, before releasing her face from his administrations, just to wrap his slick fingers around her throat and apply pressure, while he came closer to her face, examining her eyes that were opened wide with a jerk. She coughed, gurgled, weakly drummed her little fists against his arm without any success.

„Come on girl“ he teased, like she was a dog that was getting training. „Is that all you have in store for me? Sorry, I'm not buying it. Show me all you've got or I am going to break you more than the Cammies ever have. What they do is childs play compared to what I am going to do to your pretty little body.“

„Why“ she cried, slobber running down her chin. „Why are you doing this?“

Caleb chuckled, while he was using his other hand to tear off her shirt, releasing cute little tits in a white bra. It didn't take him a second to start squeezing them hard. „Why shouldn't I? You're not fighting me with all you have, so I can just-“

She screamed. It was earth shattering. Her voice was drilling itself into his skull, was shaking his brain, twisting and turning it until it felt like he was going to get torn apart from the inside out. He felt a hysterical laugh escape him and didn't know why, while her mouth grew wider and wider, until it filled out the whole room. She was going to devour him and he was crying and laughing about the irony of his approaching death at the same time, opening his arms wide to welcome it appropriately.

But it didn't come.

Instead, her head shrunk back and the walls began to move around him, spreading and retracting like it was breathing, layers of flesh reassembling themselves, faces pressing against the crafted layers of skin as if they tried to break through without managing it, crying in agony, moaning in depraved pleasure. Hands were erecting from the ground, snaking themselves around his legs, pushing and pulling, until he sank to his knees, reacting in screaming giggles, unable to form any comprehensible word, hyperventilating by the sheer thought of getting sucked into the Tzimisces fleshcraft until he was a part of it for all eternity, trapped in darkness with nothing left but a few nerves that held his thin layers of muscles and skin together, oozing sap for the flies to feed on.

He lashed out, ripped apart arm after arm, but new ones grew to replace the old.

Just as kine realized that they were dreaming sometimes, he was realizing that he was hallucinating, but was unable to fight it, for it felt and looked so real that there was hardly any doubt that he could aswell be in another, terrible dimension.

And then it just … stopped. There was a sudden silence surrounding him. His muscles went limp imediately after he realized that he had rolled himself into a weeping ball of insanity.

„There“ a voice cried somewhere above him. „I did what you've asked of me. Now leave me alone, please. I can suffer on my own, I don't need your company.“

Slowly he realized what had happened. She had used her creepy powers to force him to his knees, because he had told her to fight him with all she had.

„This is … interesting“ he murmured, carefully sitting up and looking around, just to find out that he had apparently hurt himself in his psychotic episode, spotting the remains of deep slashes in the fabric of his pants, while he had healed the wounds already without leaving a trace. „Girl, you have no idea how lucky you are that you're not an enemy.“ Because he wanted this power. He wanted it badly. Wanted to diablerize her with all the madness she had to offer, just to get a hold over this terrifying ability. He had wronged her, thinking that she was weak. She was just working another way than usual, but was powerful nontheless. Something that would make the pack stronger. He finally was able to accept her, if she made it through her welcoming ceremony. But before that, they had to make sure that there was no humanity left in her.

„Honestly though, I'll fuck you.“ Her whole body screamed purity to him and he wanted to corrupt it. Badly.

„No!“ she exclaimed, eyes wide in shock, or maybe surprise or disgust. Not that it mattered.

„Shit, do I look like I'm open for negotiations? You're not true sabbat and until you are, I can do whatever the fuck I want with you, got it? So, are you going to ride my dick on your own, or am I stuffing it inside by force? Speak up, doll!“ She hesitated, eyes widened in horror. Bit her lip. And didn't say a thing.

„As you wish“ he growled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to disappoint, no smut yet! I'll let you know if it's time :)

„What do you think he is doing with her?“ Raphael asked, while he was playing with a clump of flesh, molding it like clay and finally deciding to form a pot out of it. He was obviously bored, just like usual when he was not in the mood for his studies. He was sitting in a seemingly old leather couch, definetly one of his own making aswell, smashing the flesh, before forming a clump again. The screams and moans were in rotation between the Malk and Caleb, which obviously meant that they were taking turns in torturing each other, but he was not sure about the reasons behind this and what Leo had done to make this happen.

„I've told him to fuck her up good and proper“ the Lasombra purred silently, while he was cleaning his Desert Eagle.

„Wow, what a waste of his free time“ Kim snarked in her corner, braiding her hair since an hour into several thin strings that made her look even more wild and unruly. She rolled her eyes, before taking a new string of hair and dividing it. „One of you could join me on a hunt instead of joining the rape-session, you know. Hunting alone gets boring if you have a pack that can acompany you. But NOOO, you guys prefer to listen to this. At least take your dicks out if you are liking it anyways. This is half baked. Go on, join Caleb. That bitch has two more holes. Leave me alone, as always. Kim doesn't need our attention, she's just our pitbull!“

„Look who's jealous“ Leo chuckled, eyes darting to the snarling Gangrel who was finishing the next braid.

„Fuck you!“ she growled back.

„Why don't you take your rage and unleash it on Erin instead?“ Leo drawled, puffing at his gun as if to get rid of the last dust, before he was placing it back at the table and he folded his hands infront of him, looking at her with his bottomless pits for eyes. „The sooner she frenzies, the better.“

„Can't take much longer“, the Gangrel taunted. „Is she using her powers on him or something? Cuz it sure as hell sounds like it. She won't be able to keep this up forever.“

„I agree“ Raphael stated, carefully crafting his lump of flesh into something abstract. There was no way of telling what this would be in a few hours. Probably something they had never seen before. The Tzimisce liked to get creative if he wasn't studying his Caine related stuff. „I'll throw in a juice bag later and see what happens. One of the bums. They taste bad anyways.“

„Huh, sure, whatever“ the Lasombra murmured, before standing up and stretching, accompanied by a knacking sound. He sighted, knacked his bones some more. „Speaking of which, we will need new ones soon. Kim, wanna join me? You seemed to be eager to hunt anyways.“

She shrugged and let finally go of her hair. „Sure. There's a chemist I was stalking for a while. Thought we could use him for new drugs while we are at it. Smelled nice. Bet he tastes like honey.“ She hesitated for a moment, as if she was debating with herself. „By the way, where the hell is Jakob?“ Obviously, she didn't want to care for him, but felt the need to do so anyways. A clear sign that the vinculum was doing its job, at least towards the old brujah warrior.

„He's checking in with the bishop“ Raphael informed her, while pulling a string of veins out of his play-do flesh. „Said he wanted to tell her about Leos catch and that we are trying to corrupt her.“

Leo chuckled at that. „It's not a try. We will succeed.“

„Of course.“ Raphael rolled his eyes and obviously got an idea from that, because he was starting to carefully craft an eyeball out of the mass. „Well, maybe I'll join Caleb later. Sounds like he is having fun.“

„If screaming your brains out sounds like fun to you ...“ Kim shrugged and swung her feet off the table in order to stand up.

„Fine, maybe that's not the correct way to describe it“ the Tzimisce backpedaled. „But encouraging her to use the gift of Caine is righteous and noble. One must fully embrace their curse in order to understand it, or so they say – experiencing her particular … talent will aid me in my search for Caines true essence within us.“

„Whatever“ Kim muttered, eyes searching Leonardos. „You ready or what?“

He shrugged and pointed her to lead the way, so she was starting to move and passed Raphael without paying him much more attention. He sighted and silently waved them goodbye, before dedicating himself to his craftsmanship again, feeling that the rotating screams added a good atmosphere while he was working. It did, indeed, sound as if Caleb and the Malk went insane in tandem, so he could only guess what was going on. His packmate probably tried to establish his dominance, while she was defending herself by spreading her madness instead of her legs, but Raphael knew Caleb too well to assume that the girl would last much longer. The Ravnos was too obsessed with defeating opponents, even if the opponent was just a refractory, insane mind. She would submit soon, that much he knew. Because Caleb was noone to give up. He tried or died and there was nothing inbetween. 'Giving up' was not a part of the guys vocabulary.

And, just as expected, an hour went by and the screams turned into moans and cute little squeals and cries. Raphael leaned back in his chair, taking in the progress he had accomplished with his newest work. The clump of flesh was still there. He had decided to use a fraction of it to build a talisman. A religious gift for the girl, once she was true sabbat. Now that he thought about it, he needed to get to know her better anyways. He had to find a good test for her. Something that required her to use her abilities in an inhuman way. Not that this was anything hard to accomplish, but he liked it to be somewhat gruesome for her. Only if she was able to overcome her own weaknesses, she was worthy to be called sabbat, that much was for sure. So he kept crafting, weaved strings of tendons into symbols and added thin veins for decoration, teeth and bones in miniature format. A work that required a high amount of concentration and a steady hand. That's what he liked about it. Time was flying this way and there was an awful lot of it to spend.


	6. Chapter 6

The room looked almost like he had left it a few days ago. His flesh was still in place, but had been fed with a good amount of Malkavian blood in the meantime and had grown bloated from it, pulsating from its power and its madness.

  
Her eyes were almost fully closed, her naked, bloodsmeared form lying limp and motionless on the crafted floor. Caleb was leaning against the wall nearby, one foot positioned on her shoulder in a demonstration of dominance, a satisfied grin on his lips.

  
„You done?“ Raphael was sounding a bit bored, but just because he was eager to feed the little one, so he could start educating her.

  
„Yeah.“ Caleb looked like his balls had grown several sizes in the last hour and if he was happy, Raphael was happy aswell.

  
„Fine“, he answered, before shoving one of the juice bags into the cell. It was a middle aged man with eyes and mouth closed by a layer of his own skin that Raphael had taken from the guys cheek tissue. It was his standard procedure to make the dolls silent and helpless, so they could not annoy them with their whining. This particular juice bag had overstayed its welcome, its taste stale and boring, its nourishment almost not existent.

  
The Malks body reacted immediately, a low growl escaping her throat and her fingers clawing into the flesh carpet, while she was raising her head.  
Raphaels face didn't even twitch as he threw the whimpering muffled human right at her. A violent scream gurgled out of her as she threw herself onto the man. Her tiny canines entered the skin immediately, the juice bag moaned helplessly while she was straddling him with the full force of her body, drinking deep, shredding his skin wide open, out of sheer hunger.

  
Caleb nodded towards the Tzimisce with a smirk, watching the show with an expression of satisfaction and fascination, while Raphael reacted with a hard-on due to the sheer depravity of it. Still, there was more important things to do with the girl than just raping her. She had had her fair share already and the next turn could wait until he was done talking to her.

  
She was finally pulling away from the bloodbag with a gasp, eyes half closed and in an obvious state of ecstasy. Her head seemed to clear rather soon and she was focusing on what she had done not much later. Her hands jerked to the mans throat, feeling for a pulse, but it was obviously gone. A whine escaped her, a fist drummed against the corpses torso.

  
Raphael rose an eyebrow, silently watching her coping with the death she had caused, one of many to follow, before she was finally realizing that she was not alone. Slowly she was standing up, her gaze reproachful as she stared at him. He was still waiting, didn't move.

  
„You! This is your doing! It was you who has forced me into this!“

  
He still didn't move, was watching her with interest, before deciding that talking to her was worth it, even if it was just to satisfy his curiosity.

  
„I haven't forced you into anything, young one. It was you who has lost control. What a shame. I could have used him for a new idea, had you kept him alive.“

  
A chuckle came from Calebs direction and Raphael had to smirk a bit. She snorted. „Yeah, sure. I know what you're doing. The walls have told me!“

  
„They did?“ How interesting. „I didn't expect them to be talkative. You realize that they have no mouth, right?“

  
„They don't need a mouth“ she snarled back. „You are a fucking monster! These walls have been feeling, thinking people! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THEM! HOW COULD YOU LET ME FRENZY AND KILL THIS POOR GUY?!“

  
„So there's still a bit of rudimentary awareness within these walls of mine? Ah, nevermind. Your thirst has been slaked, I assume?“

  
„For fucks sake, are you even realizing what I am saying?“ she growled, fists turning white. „How the HELL are you still by your right mind? The beast should have taken over long ago, considering all the atrocities you are committing!“

  
Raphael chuckled at that. „Ah, yes, the beast. A good topic to start our conversation with.“ He bent down and held his hands over the ground, pulling and stretching a part of the tissue to knee level, before pointing at it. „Please, take a seat.“

  
Maybe he was imagining things, but she looked even paler than she had been before and, of course, didn't move. „You don't want to?“ He shrugged, before sitting down himself and folding his hands infront of him, watching her intently. „Well, have it your way.“

  
Caleb was following their chat silently, not daring to interrupt the packs priest, but enjoying it visibly, a tiny smirk betraying his amusement.

  
„You see“ Raphael started, scratching the boneplates over his nose, „the beast is just a metaphor for the dark urges every cainite has. The beast is as much a part of you as your ability to see. You Cammies just like to call your monstrous needs like that, so you can distance yourself from them better. 'It was not my fault, it was my beast!' Does that ring a bell? Because this is exactly what you are doing right now.“

  
She was frozen, eyes widened. He grinned a toothy grin at that, continuing his teachings. „Yeah, I can see you are starting to realize it. I know you are doubting me, but a part of you already knows it to be true, doesn't it?“ He paused, observed her for a moment, was looking for signs of rebellion, but was finding none. It looked like she was going to be a good student.

  
„Denying responsibility does one thing for you and one thing alone: It draws you even closer to your dark desires without you noticing it. At first you tell yourself that it wasn't your fault. But one day, you start to think, that maybe your victim has deserved to die. Oh, yeah, I can see the realization in your eyes. You are at this point already. Still regretting your deeds, but starting to think that maybe, just maybe, it was your right to kill. Let me tell you the lows that will follow. You will reach a point in which you don't think about killing anymore. And then you start doing it for secondary reasons, because you don't care. You start snapping at others, start feeling the urge to just get rid of them, to hurt them, to torture them. You slowly go down the slippery slope. Start to enjoy their cries for mercy and realize that you frenzy more often the more time passes. And somewhere around this point in your life, you finally admit to yourself, that you are losing yourself to your dark desires and that you are going to reach wassail if you don't find a way to stop it. Because your chosen path of humanity is a dangerous one. One that leads to despair for most of us, sooner or later. Because, dear childe, this is how they control you. They keep your mind as human-like as possible, so they can lead you better. Because a monster can't be manipulated that effectively. They make sure that you stay well trained little doggys, cute and loyal and so very naive. Do you think I am brainwashing you? No, dear, I am just showing you reality.

  
You already know that you are just a tool for the elders of the Camarilla, don't you? But do you know why? Do you understand the big secret behind their precious cold war efforts? They are tools aswell, without realizing it. Somewhere in the world sleeps an antediluvian that has a nightmare and every single offspring of his will react to this one way or the other. Do you even realize why your bloodline is so insane? Because his childer have licked Malkavs blood from the stones he died on and have taken in his very essence by doing so. And now his consciousness lives on in all of you, forming your minds into a hive, connecting them somehow. This is what is torturing you, young one.

  
What, you think I don't know what I am talking about? What kind of secrets do you think the Sword of Caine is hiding in the entrails of its unholy cathedrals? Do you think it's just a few rituals? No, young one, it is knowledge upon knowledge, carefully stored away and hidden from the undeserving. I've had the pleasure to study scriptures and writings from the beginnings of records until recent times. I know what I am talking about. You do not. So, listen closely. I am not repeating myself.“


	7. Chapter 7

When he came back, he found their hide-out to be empty, except for a clump of flesh and Leos Desert Eagle. It looked like everyone had left without telling him, just as usual.

  
He frowned, but froze soon, as muffled voices reached his ears.

  
Jakob decided to follow the sounds and the trail was leading him straight to their cells. He could hear Raphael clearly now, blabbering about his truths and Caine and who knew what else. The usual fanatic stuff.

  
Sighting, he decided to join them and was opening the door without a second thought, finding a naked, bloodsmeared Malkavian, the pack priest, aswell as Caleb, cornering the neonate who was shaking and staring blankly into nothingness. Jakob rose a brow in question.

  
„Is she even listening to your brainfuck?“

  
„Oh, who cares?“ Raphael shrugged. „I'm pretty sure her subconscious is taking it in anyways.“ He clicked his fingers infront of her face, but she didn't react. „Ah, well, it looks like it is taking effect, doesn't it? It's hard to take in the truth, but I am sure she can deal with it. If not … well!“

  
Jakob shrugged. „Huh, hard to tell. It's honorable that you try though. Reminds me of the old times, when you have found me.“

  
„Oh, good old times.“ The Tzimisce sighted. „You've been a hard nut to crack. Didn't want to accept that we're monsters, remember?“

  
„Yeah, maybe because you've tortured me. I still hate you for that, you know.“

  
„I know I know. If it wasn't for our vinculum, you would have made me pay a long time ago. Blablabla. Whatever, back to the important things: Don't you think it's your duty to support us in our mission to reform her?“

  
„Yes I do. But still, fuck you, Raphael! I hope someone rips out your throat when I am not there to protect you. Important things my ass! As if I'd care. But I'll fucking support you anyways. Happy?“

  
„Yeah, that's sufficient. The sun will be up soon, but please make her frenzy tomorrow, will you? By all means necessairy, of course.“

  
„Of course“ he snarled, arms crossed in a gesture of hatred. Everyone knew that Jakob would not act it out though. He never did, at least not if his hatred was directed towards his packmates. He was merciless with everyone else, but was loyal to a fault towards his pack and the Code of Milan. As long as everyone played by the rules, he would rip his heart out, if it protected them, no matter how much he was disgusted by their vile.

Her conscious came and went in steady waves. She didn't know how long she'd suffered already or wether she was sleeping, awake or something else.  
Her tired eyes were opened by excrutiating pain, finding herself upsite down, finding herself screaming for dear life, while something was poured over her naked body like burning acid. Her eyes were closed by exhaustion again, but she still felt her body moving, still smelled the sweetest temptation within all the disgusting and tainted and rotten. Still tasted the tranquil vitae on her lips, still felt a life slip through her crazed hands, her frenzied mind, her wide open eyes that didn't see.  
Snippets of reality found their way to her. A faint voice, beautiful, satiny and so very menacing. Agony inside and out, disorientation, murderous intentions. The realization that pain was a beautiful thing. Something that made her feel alive, even if she wasn't. A snippet of her moaning added to the feeling of something thick and velvety entering her by force, her body clenching, her mind blown by ecstasy and the darkest desire for more depraved things. And, again and again, the regret. The remorse. The guilt. The begging to let it stop. To let her die. To give her another load of blood or bloody cum. She didn't care if it was her own blood or someone elses, but she craved it so fucking much.

  
She tried to remember how she'd ended up in her cell.

  
She tried to tell herself that she'd once had a life. That the city lights and laughably hypocritic kindred hadn't been her imagination. Maybe it had been a dream, but she didnt know if this was bad or good. Or what was real or not. Maybe she had never seen a wall that was made of something else but flesh and skin. Maybe she would be a wall aswell one day. Maybe that was how everything ended.

  
„And thus Ennoia fled from Enoch and they cursed her to-“

  
Ah yes, the priest. A snippet of him was already planted in her mind. She didn't need another one. His face was a collection of beautifully carved bones.  
She absent-mindedly traced its lines with her fingers, tried to understand the unknown symbols and what they meant.

  
„Are you listening, Erin?“

  
„Erin?“

  
„Your name is Erin. Remember“ a voice said slowly. „Erin Harper.“

  
The name sounded familiar. Maybe that was her. Maybe she was someone, even though she was floating between nothingness and everything. She didn't know wether her eyes were closed or not. She felt so terribly empty.

„... and this is why you need to destroy a Baali if you discover one, neonate.“

  
„... a Baali?“

  
The voice sighted. Fingers clicked infront of her, or maybe inside of her, or maybe not at all. Muffled sounds, she couldn't understand. They were too far away and between them and her was a dining table, filled with 13 guests, each one having a platter with a baby. Oh so slowly they got sliced into thin layers of tortured flesh, got devoured by bottomless throats. The remains were thrown together, had to do an obscure race to the trash bin, while the 13 snickered and placed their bets on the winner.

  
Erin cried bitter tears for them and felt herself cultivating deep seated hatred.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been weeks of them constantly torturing and brainwashing her into something else, but, oh so slowly, they gave up on her. She was not there anymore. Had escaped into her own shattered mind, babbled things that hardly made any sense to the listeners.

„Just leave her alone“ Kim growled, rubbing her back on a metal pillar and playing with a lighter, forcing herself to look into the flame everytime she did it. Leonardo was lying on an old couch infront of her, arms behind his head, staring blankly at the half rotten ceiling of their hideout.

For a long time, he said nothing.

His facial features were a mix of lust and disappointment, a sign that he was trying to come into terms with the options available. Next to him, Raphael was sitting cross-legged on the floor, an old book in his lap he was studying. From time to time he took notes on a papersheet, but didn't show any sign of listening otherwise.

Jakob was standing by the door, guarding it as usual, his senses occupied with their surroundings, in case someone was eavesdropping on them, even if the chances were slim to none.

Caleb on the other hand, was nowhere to be found, but they all knew where he was. Still with Erin. Still fucking the little thing silly, as if she wasn't long gone already.

„Well“ Leo finally drawled. „I say we keep her as a plaything. She's good material for Raphaels fleshcrafting ideas and fucking a Malk is a nice change to fucking juicebags. She's still entertaining, even if she's completely lost it.“

„... or maybe because of that“ Raphael added, while writing something down that probably didn't have anything to do with the topic but with his studies about Caine and the Antediluvians.

„The bishop said we should move“ Jakob muttered out of the blue, his fingers playing with the grip of the rifle he had positioned next to him. „Apparently, there's shit happening in L.A. Some ruckus about a sarcophagus. We had an operation there, but there's been no news for a couple of weeks now. She thinks they got dusted there. Says we should go sightseeing – investigate.“

The others were thrown out of their lethargy in the matter of seconds. Eyes were darting over to the Brujah Ancilla. It was not because they were surprised. It was because, once you had experienced war, it was hard to find back to normality. It was hard to stay idle, to enjoy the less devastating stuff, the less life threatening parts of unlife.

They had been to war a few times already throughout the years, partly because Jakob had convinced them to fight for the cause of the sabbat, partly because of pure boredom. They had helped to conquer the city they were living in, a few years ago. Had fought off rivaling packs and wannabe-bishops, had sniffed out spies of the Camarilla and demon worshippers.

And when no danger was present, they had started to get bored, each of them their own way. Kim had developped a habit of obsessive hunting, while Raphael was cultivating a similar obsession with ancient scriptures and teachings about unlife. Jakobs temper had gotten worse and worse over the years, while Leonardo indulged in depravity and spreading it (but he was doing this as long as they had known him). And Caleb … well, Caleb was violent in his boredom.

All in all, Jakobs words were good news.

„Finally“ Leo purred, gracefully sitting up and sliding a hand through his dark beard stubble. „I was starting to think the elders have lost their bite. Guess I was wrong. Any objections if we hit the road tomorrow?“

Of course, nobody said anything against it, as always. That's how things were with the Lasombra as their leader. Nobody wanted to be on his bad side, so disagreements were a rarity. In fact, objecting to something Leonardo said, was similar to having a death wish. Other than that, he was a pleasant guy to be around. Maybe not the most fun, but pleasant.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short warning, this chapter contains themes that may be not for everyone, including sexual acts and questionable mindsets (stockholm-ish Malk stuff).

He was injecting her with cock again. Each thrust brutally honest and deep, filling her with blissful agony, that was anchoring her. The cold flesh sliding out slowly and in fast and hard, her face on the ground, tasting slimy old stink and her own rotten blood, her butt high in the air all too willingly, while he was pressing her face into the dirt, uncaring about her enjoying it or not.

So she moaned, because he didn't give a shit, whined, wailed and pressed herself against him whenever he was forcing himself inside of her.

Connected.

Him and her.

Slippery bodies, covered in blood, sweat and who knew what else.

She didn't know when or how or why reality had decided to pay her a visit. Didn't know why she loved it so much that he was hurting her. Didn't know why she came so hard from his brutal assault or why she half screamed, half laughed through her orgasm. She started babbling again, about feeling him so deep inside, about the beauty of pain, about feeling as if she had died and that he was giving her life.

„Shit, don't say that“ he growled, taking a fistfull of her hair and pulling until she whined some more, all the while thrusting relentlessly, violently, powerful. Her whole body was shaking from the afterglow, but she was feeling the next high approaching already, was twitching in delirium, a slave to his whims and desires, his obsession with her.

She knew he was punishing her for existing, for occupying so much space in his mind, for taking possession of his thoughts without any intention. He thought, if he hurt her enough, he could finally let go of her. Could draw a line between them. Instead, every twisted fuck was driving him closer, until she felt his tongue sliding over her throat and her earlobes, dangerous, posessive and anchoring.

Beautiful.

„Thank you“ she whispered.

He froze.

She whimpered, tried to encourage him to keep moving by shoving her butt against his pelvis and his penis back inside. Desperate whines, a needy little 'please' that went unanswered.

„What?“ Instead of resuming, he took her jaw into a deathgrip, forcing her head into overstretch, so he could examine her features, especially her eyes. And it was the first time in weeks that she was looking back at him, instead of through him.

Her eyes were crazed pleasure, unfulfilled desire. „Please“ she begged him with a high pitched whine. „Please, please, ignore me. Continue. I'm your meat puppet!“

„Shit“ he groaned, feeling the friction of her movements stiffening his member back to full attention. „Shut up, will ya?“

„Yes, yes, I shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Lips are sealed. I promi- OH GOD, YOU'RE BIG! IT HURTS SO GOOD!“ He chuckled darkly, shoving her back to the ground where she looked the best, mounting her with his full weight, pounding himself deep inside, making her squeal uncontrollably, making her babble again, but this time, oddly, it was sounding less abstract.

He realized that it made no difference wether or not she was aware of what was happening. She seemed helpless in either condition and that was what had hooked him to begin with.

He came with a growl, pressing balls deep into her with all he had, his orgasm accompanied by her cute little whimpers and gasps. Erin whined when he pulled out imediately after, slick fluid, a mix of white and red, oozing out of her, slowly dripping down her inner thighs.

Her legs were shaky, she stumbled towards the next wall, before hesitantly sliding it down and hitting the dirty floor with her backsite. She breathed in. Breathed out. Eyes started to focus on him.

His tall frame, the black hair falling into his piercing gray gaze. He had an edge to his face, something unnatural. Something monstrous. It terrified and fascinated her at the same time. It took her a while to come into terms with the fact that she was desiring a beast of a man. A violent thing from the darkest of places. The Sabbat. And maybe, just maybe, she wasn't that far away from those shadows either anymore.

Somewhere in her guts was a hint of dread, sitting there and making her entrails twitch. But, at the same time, there was something sinister lurking under her skin that wanted more. He was staring back in silence, but his twisted grin said more than any word could have.

„You remember anything?“ he asked, voice raspy.

She hesitated, looked inside of her own mind, instead of him. Was searching for an answer.

„I was running away“ she found out. „Not from you. From … myself? From … pain. A hurt inside my skin, that didn't go away. It was hard to bear. So very hard. But it's fine now. Fine ...“

She giggled quietly and sad.

„I think I know where it came from. The priest made me realize. He ...“

„You mean Raphael? Damn, too bad. I was hoping you'd not come back from your condition.“

Her eyes darted to his direction again, bitter, foul, venomous.

„Abusive!“, she spat. „Violent offspring of a stereotype! It was true with her, wasn't it? The prejudice! The discrimination! You give your worst to prove them right. Disgusting piece of shit!“

He was over her in a heartbeat, had her pinned against a wall. Her cheekbone shattered. She screamed. She laughed. She cried. His gritted teeth spat a hint of frenzy onto her skin to let it burn in bitter ecstasy.

„What did you say?“ he hissed.

She giggled, cried, whined, slung her legs around his muscular torso, licked his cheek with a purr.

„Fucking crazy bitch!“ he spat, let go of her.

Erin whined a bit, clawed at his arm, until he was giving her another load of his fist to the face that made her vision go blurry.

„Yes“ she moaned throughout the cries. „Go on! Give it to me good and proper.“

She was all wet and nasty down there, still feeling his seed filling her dead body and the pain he had induced filling her empty soul with something that resembled the feeling of being alive.

„You kooky fuck“ he snarled, giving her a kick to the guts that she savoured with tortured passion. A moan was her response, a shiver of her body, a hand running down between her legs, rubbing the already soar organ. Her head spun, was lolling from left to right and back, eyes half closed, but her moan stronger and more desperate than ever.

„Shit!“ He rubbed his temples, stared at her in disbelief. „Damn Malkavians. You just add another level of fucked up as soon as I think I've figured you out.“

He was passing her with a few fast steps, left the room without closing the door. Maybe he'd had enough for today. He was creeped out. She'd seen it. Seen the colors of caution. But those of desperation and obsession aswell. He would be back soon. Because, after all, they were sharing some colors. A mutual understanding that self torture was ecstasy.

She tried to stand up on shaky legs but they didn't work properly. So she crawled instead. Crawled herself out of the darkness, towards the beautiful light. The siren song of golden fluid, of pulsating arteries and sweet taste explosions, singing her a lullaby.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More concerning stuff and I'm not even sorry :'D

„Well, shit“ was all she said, staring in disbelieve at the organs splattered in an obscure order all over the walls.

The Malk was still at it, tearing a lung out of the torso of one of the juice bags, before slicing open the flesh wall and stuffing a part of the thing inside, so that it was hanging out in a disorderly fashion.

„What the FUCK!“

Leonardo was looking over his shoulder to give her an eyeroll, pointing at their prisoner. „She says, it's not finished yet.“

„Well, I say it's insane.“

„That it is“ he agreed without much vigor. His voice was sounding very dispassionate to be exact.

„Is there any food left?“ she roared.

„Yeah, two ghouls in the second playroom.“

He shrugged. She growled.

„What a fucking waste of prey!“

That was harvesting a soothing smirk from him. „No worries, we would've had to get rid of the supply anyways. I'll make sure that we get you something worth your time and … skills, once we're in L.A.“

„Well thanks!“ she snapped back, crossing her arms infront of her and staring in disbelief at the Malkavian that was humming happily while working her obscure … decoration.

„That was my hunter!“ she complained after a while, still not cool with what was going on. „I was keeping him for a special event, you know! That fuck has stolen my best runner! Do you know how much fun we would have had, hunting him? It could have lasted for days, you know! All the thrill that's lost now, just because of some random lunatic. I could … STRANGLE HER!“

„But you won't“ Leo emphasized with his satiny, calm voice, giving her a once-over with trust in his eyes that disgusted and honored her at the same time.

„FUCK YOU!“

But still, she didn't move an inch. Instead, her whole body was shaking out of rage and Leo could see that she was starting to frenzy. Of course, she would ride the wave, just as usual. She screamed, lashed around and began destroying the flesh wall behind them, shredding it into pieces, howling and snarling. And just when the opening started to turn into a second entrance, she was slowing down, until she stopped without turning around, just staring at her handywork without a twitch in her stony expression.

Leonardo rolled his eyes, focusing his attention back to what was hopefully still his new recruit.

„Erin, could you please enlighten me about what you are doing with our blood supply? I REALLY hope you have a good reason to piss me off.“

„I'm … holding onto … what I see.“ She was pointing at her head, rubbing her eyes with a hint of desperation. „If I don't, it goes away, but I need to focus, so I draw a map to connect the strings and … ooooh!“

She was darting around, ramming her fingers into the mutilated corpse again, just to pull out the liver, biting off a piece of it, before binding it to a tendon that was connected to a collection of hearts.

„You see? You see? See?“

„No, I don't. I just see you have a bad decoration taste.“

„But … there's the ship!“ she exclaimed, jumping to a ribcage with a piece of flesh inside that was sliced into a block. „And the ship goes with the young rat!“ She pointed at a long, knotted string of intestines that were all over the place and somehow connected to every centerpiece. „Oh, but of course, first was the house of wares!“ She jumped to another part of the obscure artwork and smashed a fist into a collection of sliced up organ parts. „But that's gone missing from the map, because of the rat. Oh, but even before that, there was the ship without the rat, but with a lot of Smiles!“ She pointed at mouth parts hovering over the ribcage.

„Yeah, right“ Leo remarked, as if he was trying to get this over with. Whatever she was talking about, he would not be able to make any sense of it for the moment. Maybe later, maybe not at all, because it could be madness without the wisdom. But he never knew with the Malks. Sometimes he only knew in hindsight. Whatever it was, he was pretty sure that, after seeing this, even Caleb would agree to accept her as true sabbat.

There was no hint of humanity left in her, but no sanity either.

He was so absorbed in watching her, so interested in her particular kind of taint, that he only noticed that Kim had left, when she came back with a plastic bag. It was thrown over to the Malkavian and hit her straight on the shoulder without Erin even noticing.

„Nice aim“ Leo commented and Kim snarl-chuckled in return.

„Hey, Loony, get dressed! We're going swimming!“

Leo rose a brow in question. The Gangrel shrugged, watching the girl pulling out a black hoodie and a washed out denim jeans before she started covering her blood caked body. She did have weeks of blood and dirt on her after all.

„What? We need to get her disguised properly, before we're hitting the roads. Prey starts running too early otherwise, if she looks like a zombie.“

Leo sighted good willed. „Of course.“

„What, did you think I develop motherly instincts? In your dreams, handsome!“

He chuckled at that, shaking his head in silent amusement. „I'll ask around if someone wants to join the two of you. Caleb could use a good skin rub aswell.“

„Pheh, yeah, he carries her stink like a trophy.“

And with that he was gone. Kim frowned, watching Erin who was attempting to dig in organs again. „Don't you dare!“ The Malk froze, looked up at the Gangrel as if she was only noticing her now.

„I swear if you get my hoodie dirty before tomorrow morning, I'll rip out your vocal chords!“

Erin giggled at that. Kim frowned a little deeper. „I'm serious, kid! You don't want me on your bad side.“

„Oh, I know!“ She was way too cheerful. „You're a beast! But … so am I. Does that make us sisters? But I think you're a beast on another way, you know. Like … not drowning in it. Like, actually staying sane and stuff. Like, not losing it completely. You know, I think, I am more beast than human right now and that is kind of scary. It feels like I am losing a fight against myself, because tearing apart living things turned out to be so much fun and I remember that I've felt this … disgusting guilt once. And now it's just gone and I can't help but think that this is actually a bad thing and that I won't be able to talk much longer if this goes on, because I'll be devoured by the beast that is me and … uhm, does this make any sense to you?“

„Jeez, do you ever stop talking? Why the fuck is Caleb so obsessed with you? He gets super annoyed with others if they don't shut up. Anyways, we'll get to this later. You're on the road to wassail right now, so you have to adopt new morals. The human ethics don't work on cainites anyways, so it's just about time you start learning.“

She was silent for a moment, staring through Kim into her own void or whatever, before her eyes focused back on her. „I'm cainite?“

„Obviously“ she growled back.

„Not … kindred?“

„Cainite“ she emphasized as if she felt offended by even hearing that word. „And once you've proven yourself worthy of our attention, you'll be my packmate, so you better keep it together until then. I'm not very patient with delusionals.“

„Oh … okay.“

„Now get moving. Sun's up in two hours and I want to be clean until then.“


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!   
> This chapter contains Non-Con/ EXTREMELY dubious consent

He was rubbing soap into her skin like a child that was unwrapping a gift for christmas. Of course, he was cleaning her slowly, because he wanted to savour the moment in which the old Erin would come out of the dirt cocoon. Because he hadn't seen the old her for weeks.

She tolerated it, because he had made clear that he wasn't leaving her a choice. At first, she had tried to wriggle away from him, but a vicious pull on her hair and claws wrapping around her body and drilling into her skin had made clear who was boss very effectively. So she just beared with it, staring blankly at the water she was standing in and that already had a hint of red and brown in it from her stink.

Kim had just rolled her eyes at him in annoyance before she proceeded to soap herself, shrubbing her skin until it was sqeaky clean in a matter of minutes. And that was basically Kims 'swimming'. As soon as she was done, she was out of the swimming pool and didn't even bother wrapping a towel around her exposed body. Instead, she was going over to the too large pullover and a pair of army green stretch pants, leaving her companions alone in under 15 minutes with a „Later, fuckers!“

Erin didn't know if she should have begged Kim to stay, but it probably wouldn't have made a difference for her anyways.

She felt his hard-on pressing against her backside since he had pulled her on his lap with a vicious jerk. His hands were rubbing her breasts excessively, sometimes trailing deeper, before going back, giving them a hard squeeze to get her head back to what he was doing with her body.

She was horrified, disgusted, ashamed and so very aroused.

No words were leaving her lips.

She was not allowed to.

She felt by instinct that he wouldn't be merciful if she dared to annoy him. So she shut up and endured the want and the dread and the need. He had started breathing at some point, probably without noticing. And now that she was paying attention, she was doing it too. An automated function to prepare her body for very humane activities, flushing blood to relevant places, rebooting hardware to produce wetness and a delicious twist in her stomach, a pull between her legs.

A whine escaped her.

He reacted immediately, dug his fingers into her scalp and pressed her under the surface with a burst of violence. She scream-gurgled, struggled against his vice-like grip, while he was pressing her lower body flush against his erection. She settled then, moaned at the pain of her slowly capitulating lungs and water seeping into her system.

His hands were roughly rubbing her hair now, were getting rid of the now dirty foam and soap that started to sting in her eyes deliciously. She closed them anyways, struggled a bit longer, more against herself than against him.

She didn't know how long it took, but he was pulling her head out of the water at some point. A fountain of fluid flushed out of her body, she snorted and coughed, each cough accompanied by a new swell of water until her insides hurt so bad that she was feeling truely alive, even though her vision had become blurry a while ago.

„Quit it“ he growled, shoving her head against the pool wall and pressing himself against her full force. It flushed even more water out of her mouth. She wriggled, cried out, tried to escape his merciless grasp. He was grabbing one of her buttcheeks, shoved it aside, his cold erection pressing against her folds. She cried some more, bloody tears of joy and horror coloring her face in red.

„Stop struggling!“ His snarl was dark and impatient.

She didn't know why she was loving and hating it so much. „Please, please“ she whined, unsure of what she was begging for. His assault or his mercy.

The tip of his cock was slipping between her folds and it caused her to freeze. „Yeah, that's better“ he whispered with a raw edge to his voice, eagerly pressing the tip against her opening, until it yielded to the force. She squealed a bit and was getting a slap in response, causing him to slip in more. He was starting to thrust, every movement pressing his erection a bit deeper inside, until he was balls deep and she was gasping loudly, the responding slaps to the face only fueling her helpless little whines and cries of agony and joy.

In return, her uncontrolled sounds were driving him even wilder. He was pounding her hard, grunting against her earlobe, snarling the dirtiest things straight into her twisted mind. That he loved her fear and suffering and that he was making her his in every aspect. He would fill her and stretch her until she was crying, unable to form coherent sentences, until she would finally understand that she had to accept what was already decided from the start.

She knew, he needed her to submit, but would hate it if she did, because he liked her struggling better, because it gave him a feeling of dominance over her, a sinister need only she could satisfy, because her insanity was creeping him out and he had to overpower her to get rid of his weakness.

None of that was actually said, but she was feeling it somewhere deep inside her, deeper than he would ever be able to shove his thick erection to reach her. Because reaching her was what he wanted, without realizing it and she was sure that mentioning it would be her death sentence. So she didn't and endured instead. Came hard around him, clenching, sucking him in, shaking.

He fucked her through it without hesitation, shoving himself as deep as he could. It hurt so good and proper that it was blowing away her mind for a second or two. Eyes rolling back in her head, muscles spasming.

His growl was low, dark and full of sinister satisfaction.

He was giving her rough bites now, without actually opening skin, because that would have caused a whole other world of problems. But still, he seemed to be tempted, sucking her skin into his mouth, lapping at it until her whole neck was bruised from his attention. She moaned helplessly, all energy depleted already, her head swimming in hormones of bliss and terror.

His hands were squeezing her flesh, leaving scratchmarks as proof of his crazed passion for a few minutes, his abdomen hammering relentlessly into her body in honest brutality, bruising, hurting, dominating. So terrifying. So painful. So good. She was feeling him twitch inside her and he slowed down, before he was slipping out of her, leaving her with a feeling of emptiness that made her whine in protest.

His chuckle was gruesome.

She felt his hands linger over her body for a second, before he was grabbing her again, pressing her head underwater and shoving his erection inside her mouth. She made noises of protest, her voice vibrating around his thick shaft, while the sounds remained unheard above the surface.

He was starting to thrust again, making her gag as he was slipping deep into her throat. Holding her breath was making the thing all the more difficult and painful, turning her throat into a burning ache with every powerful thrust of his lower body. She was weakly hammering her fists against his thighs at the start, but soon settled to holding onto him in hopes of controlling his thrusts a little bit, which was a waste of energy, as he was showing her pretty fast.

His fingers were digging into her scalp, moving her head to his liking without much effort, even though she was really trying to press against it. His thrusts became erratic very soon, cock twitching between her lips once more, her uncontrolled moans encouraging the thick meat to delve in deep and hard. And, all of a sudden, he slipped out again, threw her head to the site and away from the dick she was craving.

She desperately tried to get him back into her mouth.

Instead, strong arms were wrapping around her petite body, forcing her onto his lap and her head out of the water. She was moaning mindlessly, clinging onto his muscular frame for dear life, while he was shoving back inside fast and hard to the hilt, wrapping her legs around him and grabbing her throat.

He forced her head back, her eyes staring blankly into nothingness, mouth wide open in desperate moans.

He slapped her.

She focused on him.

His eyes were heavy with pleasure, crazed, posessed, menacing.

She moaned louder, gave him a much needed roll of her hips. He growled with gritted teeth, his lips only a breath away from hers, ready to snap viciously while she was hanging there, not daring to move her head even an inch away, answering his stare with her own, her expression an unreadable mix of overflowing emotions. He was hammering himself inside of her with a particularly vicious thrust and finally found her lips.

Bit down.

Hard.

Her mind began to swim.

Ecstasy conquered every part of her being as she reared into his teeth and his lips and his tongue. When he was finally releasing her, she could feel the last pulses of his orgasming cock and her own twitches.

He let go. Slid out. Went underwater and came back up, shaking his head like a dog, as if to clear himself of what had just happened. She was staring at him blankly. He had really bitten her. Had sucked on her lips like he was starving. And now … he was … bound …? To her? She didn't understand. Looked down on herself. Her new clean self. Looked back up at him, mouth wide open in disbelief.

His lip was twitching in a silent warning not to mention it, but she was unable to look away.

„Get dressed!“ he snarled in impatient, hardly contained rage. She slowly found her way out of her daze and climbed out of the pool, still wondering if she was imagining things or if it had really happened. She was kind of getting her answer when she felt him wrap an arm around her possessively as soon as she had her clothes on.

„Wha... wha...“

„Don't!“

„But ...“

„Just shut up!“ He was pressing her firmly against his torso, as rough as always.

She sighted, evaded his gaze. „Fine.“ It didn't seem like it made him any friendlier.

Not that she wanted that to happen anyways.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more sex, but this time there is a hint of plot at the end lol

She was locked up in her cell for the day, just to be awakened by cold flesh poking her cheekbone. She grumbled, tried to turn around, but was forced to keep her head where it was with strong fingers wrapping around her jaw.

„Open up“ a raspy voice snarled, while the cold thing was pressing against her lips. She blinked sluggishly into the darkness, not that it was helping her much. There was a pale penis infront of her and menacing eyes above her. The not-so-much gypsie.

She felt her lips giving in, took a deep breath, more out of habit than out of need and let his spicy musk fog her brain. He was shoving in without hesitation, far behind her gag reflex.

She gurgled.

He moaned.

His hips started moving. He moved her head in rythm to his wet, sloppy, dirty music. She gagged. Coughed. Whimpered. The thrusts were speeding up. She closed her eyes to fight the nausea and earned a slap for that. So she was looking into his eyes instead, piercing, needy, obsessed.

His moans grew louder, a bit desperate.

A bit depraved.

A bit like a monster.

She loved it. Finally closed her lips around him. Let her tongue play around. Moaned shyly into his flesh. He was sucking in a breath, dug his fingers into her hair and threw her off of him onto the meaty, breathing floor. She was lying there without actually trying to escape this time. She felt weak and knew that she needed the pain more than anything else, except for maybe a big gulp of blood or his cum.

„I had a dream“ she whispered. „Of a shovel digging your grave. You were watching. You were horror and terror and dread.“

„Shut up.“ He was getting rid of her pants way too fast. Her legs were shoved apart and an erection shoved in. She whined helplessly. Forced herself to keep her eyes open, to stare into his, while he conquered her body. His hands were on her throat, applying more and more pressure until it felt like the blood in her veins refused to reach her brain.

The world became foggy.

She giggled, couldn't resist it. Coughed a bit. Decided that breathing was overrated. Instead she found herself babbling again. Strangulated 'Hurt me' and 'harder' and 'yes' and 'i hate that I love it', spilling secrets about her own shattered psyche, about his dark emotions and pictures in her head, heating him up, fueling his unforgiving rage as he drove into her with all his viciousness, roaring at her to shut up, that she had no right to know it, that she was not supposed to know anything about him.

She started crying then, apologized with all the desperation she could muster. Told him that she didn't mean to spill the beans. That she would be a good girl from now on if he could just hurt her a bit more and a bit longer. He backhanded her and was rewarded with a hysterical giggle, so he did it again, until she shut up and was starting to shake from her own fear and ecstasy, until her eyes were squeezed and her face twisted in blissful agony.

The orgasm threw her out of reality into other planes of existence. She saw things she could not unsee. Learned things that were not meant to be learned.

When she came to, there was a colorful spectrum of deliciousness in her mouth and throat. She drank without thinking, swallowed with greedy gulps and sucked and licked until the bowl was empty.

„Look who's back“ the beautiful voice of the Italian purred somewhere next to her.

She found herself sitting on an old couch, a bowl in her hands. She placed it on her knees, frowned in confusion. „What happened?“

„Vaulderie happened“ the priest said, kind of helpful. Well, it would have been helpful if she actually knew what he was talking about.

„How did I get here?“

„Well, if you need to know … we carried you. You were a bit out of it. Did your Malk-thing, babbling about sleeping gods and all that stuff. Figured it was time to give you something to hold onto.“ The bone mask grinned. There was blood on his lips. It smelled like the stuff she had had.

„Welcome to the family“ Leo purred, petting her hair carefully, as if he wasn't sure wether or not she would snap at him. She didn't. Instead, she kept staring at the priest. She didn't even remember his name, but felt awfully close to him for some weird reason. Everyone was present. The old warrior guy, the snarky Gangrel, Caleb, the soothing voice guy and the priest. All were looking at her.

„Stop staring“ she grumbled. „I want to know what's going on.“

„You don't know about Vaulderie? I've told you about it and you don't remember?“ Raphael asked calmly.

She shook her head.

He sighted. „Well, it's a means to bind a pack together, so we don't start killing each other. It breaks every bloodbond, which is part of the reason why the Sword of Caine is using it. Basically, we have filled this bowl with our blood, yours included, and shared it. It creates a Vinculum. A group bond.“

She blinked. Stared down at the bowl she had just emptied so greedily. It explained the flavor explosion on her tongue. But not the warmth she felt when looking at them. It was stronger for some, but existed for each of them.

„I see“ she whispered. Let her eyes linger on Caleb for a moment, then on Jakob and smiled a bit. „It's like I'm home.“ She was getting soft, well meaning smiles in return. They felt it too. The love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, she's totally sane!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.5 chapters, yay!

„...and that's why we need to get going“, Leonardo explained patiently, while the others were packing their things together.

Caleb and Kim were out to steal a bus, while Leo was telling her about their mission to gather intel about the happenings in Los Angeles. For some reason it was old news for her. She had already tried to tell them about it, but was unable to make it so they understood. Apparently, organs were not suited to create a timeline.

And she was starting to remember things from her time in the cell. She especially started to remember her visions that had come in tandem with Raphaels teachings about the Antediluvians and Gehenna. Their righteous cause.

She knew what she had seen.

Knew that there were monsters so far away from the material world that their voices could shatter souls and that needed the blood of cainites and kindred alike to sustain their otherworldly hunger. And that the Sabbat was the only group among the immortal that was actually trying to prevent those creatures from waking up and devouring them all.

They were the good guys.

The Camarilla had lied to her ever since she had been embraced. Had said that the Caine thing was a myth. That the Antediluvians didn't exist.

But now she knew.

Had seen it. Felt it. The control. The invisible chains in the blood. Hers had been shattered, replaced by a new leash that was connecting her to the pack, united by a noble cause. She was not part of the old Cobweb anymore. Now, she had entered a new one. A dark one. A tree of bones in the middle, voices deep and sinister and so very personal. She loved them. Loved the hate and the dark urges and their sins and their hunger. And they loved her back. Her need for pain and ecstasy. They welcomed her. Greeted her with piled up corpses, a bloodbath and a dance around a firepit. Her mind giggled. Maybe her body did too, she didn't know.

Fingers clicked infront of her eyes and brought her back. „Hey, are you listening?“ Leonardo was looking a bit worried.

She gave him a soft smile. „Sorry, they're throwing multiple parties.“

„They?“

„The others.“

„What others? Erin, it's just you and me in the room.“

„I know“ she drawled. „Do you think I'm stupid or something? Of course it's only us!“

„Then who are you talking about?“

„Well ...“

„Well? I need to know. I can't have you go asylum-crazy, little one.“

She laughed a bit at that. „Don't be silly, I'm totally sane! I told you, the others are throwing multiple parties and that's why I was someplace else.“

„In your mind.“

„With my mind“ she corrected and was getting a sight in response.

„Whatever, you aren't making any sense.“

„Because you're a bit slow today, no offense.“

„Yeeeeah, forget I said anything.“

„Sure thing, boss!“

Maybe she should have hated them for what they had done to her. The memories sparked up in her mind like storms of lightning. Coming fast, unexpected and leaving just as fast. She was remembering the rape, the torture, the hours of information and brainwashing stuffed into her unresponsive mind. And all with the goal to make her frenzy as fast as possible, each frenzy ripping a part of humanity away from her. Each frenzy a kill of an innocent, until there was no remorse left in her.

But she could not hate them for the hell of it. She loved them like she had never loved anyone. And she thought it was okay, because she had started to enjoy it at some point. They had managed to replace her urge for final death with emotional emptiness and had taught her to fill it with ecstatic agony and a love for being hated.

She was fine now.

Really.

Better than before, at least. She didn't suffer anymore and, in the end, that was what was important, wasn't it? Yes, it was.

Sometimes, the flashbacks and nightmares were giving her a pain that she didnt enjoy, but she could just replace it with a lot of Calebs violence. She loved his honest brutality, maybe because it was matching her brutal honesty. And maybe she loved that she hated him so much, or hated that she loved him so much. She wasn't sure which one or maybe all together, intermingled in her soul into a mushy herd of twisted emotions and madness.

_______________________________________

The bus had passengers that were, apparently, a welcome surprise. „Breakfast!“ Leonardo purred while entering the backside of the bus with a vicious smile. She heard the passengers respond with whimpers and cries that turned into screams when he was grabbing into the ball of human limps and fishing for an arm to pull. He threw the first one out, a middle aged man with tears streaming down his face in a beautiful pattern.

She tilted her head, watching him with fascination.

„Jakob gets first blood“, the boss shouted out of the bus, somewhere between the fearful screams. Kim had middle-aged secured with a claw on his throat. He was hyperventilating, while Erins eyes trailed to Jakob without her realizing it.

She was doing it again. She really, really, really adored him for his self control. He was an honorable man. Brave. Loyal. A strong warrior. She felt herself getting turned on by the thought and was finding herself next to the Brujah before she even knew what hit her.

„I want to watch, please“ she whispered in excitement. He rose a brow in question, then shrugged, then started to approach their victim.

In were his canines, out was the moan of the stranger and her. She was rubbing her arms in excitement, biting her lower lip, hummed. He looked so hot when he was drinking. So ... out of it. Like he was in another world, floating in the stars.

She wanted him to devour her.

Instead, she shoved her fingers between her legs. It brought her an elbow, directed to her stomach. She moaned some more. Then there was predatory gray eyes stealing her the view and she whined at the loss.

„What the fuck do you think you are doing?“ Caleb growled.

She tried to wriggle around his tall frame to get a better look. „I'm getting off while watching Jakob feed, obviously. Please, let me.“

Right in that moment, she heard a gasp from said Brujah who was letting the juice bag fall to the ground, before spinning around and approaching the two. „Wait, what did she just say?“

„I was getting off watching you feed!“ she repeated. „But Caleb is a fucking spoilsport!“

The Ravnos growled in barely contained rage. „Shut. Up!“

„But it's true!“

„SHUT UP!“

„Woah woah woah, what's going on, guys?“ That was Leonardo, jumping out of the bus and joining the approaching outbreak of collective frenzy.

„Erin's gotten a bad case of vinculum towards Jakob and Caleb throws a temper tantrum because he's jealous like a Toreador“ Kim explained unimpressed, while picking up the unconscious man, before almost ripping his throat out with her teeth while drinking him dry.

„I am. NOT. Jealous“, Caleb exclaimed.

„Okay, calm down, brother“ Leonardo breathed with his magic voice, but it wasn't helping much.

„FUCK no! Fuck you! And you too, Jakob! And Kim! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! ALL OF YOU!“

„No, you won't and you know that.“ Of course he did. He loved them. All of them. He howled in colliding emotions, screamed, smashed his fists against the bus again and again, almost throwing it over, resulting in panicked screams from the inside. None of them tried to stop him though, because they all knew that he was frenzying good and proper and that he was barely able to redirect the beast towards something less destructive, in order to protect them from himself. He rode the wave. And, at some point, he had calmed down enough to stop hitting the rusty metal and was, instead, leaning against it. His stare was piercing and murderous, going from one cainite to the next.

„She's mine!“ he hissed through gritted teeth.

Leo cleared his throat. „Well, actually-“

„SHE'S MINE!“

„-I think she's hit you with her dementation a bit too often.“

„FUCK YOU!“ he roared, but wasn't moving towards him to get close and personal, even though it was painfully obvious that he would have loved to.

„I advice you to get yourself some breakfast really fast.“ Leonardos voice had taken another swing now. Had started to sound dangerous. Threatening. From a smooth guy like him that had an especially dangerous ring to it. Caleb hissed, but obliged immediately, probably knowing all too well what would happen if he stepped out of line. So he disappeared in the car and screams of the juice bags were proving that he was a messy eater if he was moody.

„So … uh ...“ Jakob started, but looked like he had no idea what exactly was appropriate. „This shit is creeping me out, guys.“ He was pointing at Erin. „She's not into me, right?“ He looked like there was a shiver running down his spine.

The Malkavian was responding with a worried little sound, tilting her head and blinking at him with too fucking big eyes. Jakob cringed and was looking at Leonardo instead.

„Well, this is unlucky“ the Lasombra sighted.

„Yeah. No shit.“

„I'm not sure what you guys are talking about, 'cause that's not unlucky, but can I sit next to Jakob while we are driving? He's, like, a movie star or something. Like, I would feel really honored if I was allowed to, you know, get a bit of your hair or so. And it would be totally cool if you wanted to kill me, you know. Like, really, really cool. Like, I would cum so hard from that. Or if you would eat me, so my soul can be inside you and melt into your own, if we can make this work somehow. We would be so close. SO! Close.“

„Shit“ Jakob whispered, more to himself than to anyone else.

„Yeah“ Leo silently agreed.

„Why the long faces?“ Raphael was leaning out of one of the side window of the bus. „If I was you, I would get everything out of her bond that I can. Buddy, you have gotten yourself a personal slave and-“ growling from the back of the bus „-Caleb can ask you to give her the orders he likes.“ The growling stopped. Instead, there was a grumpy „Fine!“ replacing it.

Jakob didn't want to. Said there was no honor in taking advantage of a sister. She was bound to him, but so was he and was feeling close to her, worried about her, no matter how much her behaviour was freaking him out. So nothing was settled, but the simple fact that they had to start moving.

Caleb had thrown a kid towards her, a teenage boy, bleeding carelessly into her lap and painting the car in whines and whimpers. She appreciated the offer and drank slowly, lazily, to savour the young blood, to enjoy the last few drops finding her throat in morbid tranquility. She let go of the kine, he dropped without any life left in him and Raphael opened the backdoor of the speeding up bus and kicked out the corpse, so it could get eaten by vultures and crows.

„I could have used his inside decoration“ she informed him in a hushed tone and the priest was responding with an unnerving stare. 

„I could have used his insides aswell, but we need no supplies until we reach our destination. Then we can pick a fight over the fresh bodies, maybe split them in half for the sake of fairness. You realize, young one, that it is me who creates our guardians for the day, our Szlachtas, greedy for every mortal body entering our territory. The less material of the cattle I get, the less protection I can provide. Consider this, before you decide to rip apart the next juice bags we collect from the streets. Other than you, I prefer them alive.“

„But I need eyes, so I can see and tongues so I can speak and brains so I can think“ she complained.

„You do not. You carry the gift of Caine in your blood, neonate. No organs of yours need replacement as long as you do not make a brother of mine a foe of yours.“

„You don't understand, priest! My eyesight is limited, but can be twisted and corrupted and fastened by tendons and intestines and rotting flesh, if you'd just let me!“

„What the fuck is she talking about“ Kim growled in the back.

„She thinks she can see the future if she is playing with corpses“ Caleb interpreted from the driver seat.

They were somewhere on a highway and he didn't bother to turn on the lights, driving through the darkness while Leo was sitting next to him and giving him directions, as if he was seeing better than ever before. Which he probably did, considering his affinity with shadows and so on.

„Maybe she can“ Jakob offered.

„Well shit, maybe she can for real“ Kim agreed.

„I can!“

„By Caine, you are feeding her madness“ Raphael groaned. „Have you ever met a Malkavian that was needing tools for their ramblings? I have not. And as you well know, I've been here for a while now and thus met a few of her kind.“

„Just because you've never met one that needs tools, it doesn't mean there is none!“ Kim snarled.

„True!“ the Brujah seconded.

„Fuck this, who gives a shit!“ the Ravnos growled from the drivers seat without actually looking over his shoulders. „Just give her a friggin' corpse once in a while so she shuts up! What's so hard about that, huh? There's Malks that are full of bullshit and Malks that have wisdom in their bullshit, but it's still BULLSHIT, alright? Deal with it!“

„He has a point there, you know“ Leonardo purred with a sly smirk on his lips, watching them through the reflection of the side window, while he didn't have any reflection at all. „I say it's smart to give a Malk what she wants. See it as a reward for good behaviour.“

„I'm not a damn dog you know. I can hear you. You act like I'm retarded or something. But I clearly am not.“ She jerked her head around to the Tzimisce in the next second. „And I don't need your holier-than-thou attitude just because I want something you need for your ugly ass ghoul projects, priest!“ She closed here eyes with a frown. „Maybe I should just take their limbs and inner beauty and eyes and tongues and hearts, so they can see and hear and understand, because they obviously don't, but who am I to judge those who are blind to the ecstasy of pain and agony. Haven't seen nor heard what I have and think them above me with their petty little games of treachery and bloodletting, spilling the beans for them but they don't listen. Ungrateful. UNGRATEFUL MONGRELS! Maybe I could make them understand, if they'd just suffer for a bit or multiple bits and pieces and ...“ She was continuing her babbling without a pause, while the pack went quiet around her, each of them freaked out their own way.

„Sorry.“ Leo was the first one to apologize, _maybe because he was the boss and wanted to act as a good example of what was only right and honorable_ , she thought, while he was actually apologizing to the others for startling her.

Kim sighted. „I'm just glad she's had her first Vaulderie already. Who knows what she would have done otherwise.“

„Yeah, who knows what I would have done to my sister and brothers, let alone open their eyes to the beauty of pain and the pleasu-“

„You know, the thing is, that I'm not entirely convinced that the vinculum is actually protecting us from this madness. What if she thinks that she is doing us a favor? Now, _that_ would be a packbreaker.“

„Never!“ Erin exclaimed. „Never would I go against my families wishes, even if it is for the better of them, for I love them so much.“ The last words ended in a sad wail.

„Oh hey hey, don't cry now, little one“ Raphael hushed and was pulling her into a cold hug between his bony arms, tenderly petting her back until the sobbing seized. His eyes were cold as ice. „You'll get some corpses to play with, okay? Now, all is good.“

„I just want to destroy them all“ she whined, rocking back and forth against his torso. „Open the eyes of kindred, so they can see the truth seeping into their periphery vision until it is blurry and oozing blood and pain. Why don't you understand? Is it not the righteous path to take? Is it not an honorful fight for all cursed childer, blind and seeing alike?“

„Yes, it is“ he hummed, rubbing her back lightly. „You'll show them all the beauty of Caine and the true threat of the Camarilla.“

„I will“ she agreed with a whimper. „But ...“

„But?“ Kim growled, annoyance evident in her voice.

„I need a means to bind my inner beast, for it threatens to devour me.“

„Oh, right. There was something ...“ Leo chuckled from the front. „So, what do you guys think? Which path is … the easiest for someone like her? And, please, don't even start discussing which one is the best. We all agree to disagree on that one, so it's not worth fighting over.“

Jakob scratched his strong jaw in thought. „Hard to tell. Who knows what she's thinking?“

Raphael hummed in agreement, before slowly releasing the Malkavian from his grasp in order to examine her face. „Tell me, Childe, what is your definition of vampires?“

„We are all ants in the face of the father.“

„And in yours?“

She hesitated, frowned. „We are … the only hope for our own survival. Yes, we are our own saviours or killers, once the world comes to an end. Thus we thirst for life and knowledge and power, so we deserve the survival and feed on the weak.“

„Well that was … awfully wise“ Kim remarked, watching carefully from the corner of her eyes.

„Path of Orion!“ Caleb exclaimed from the front.

„Just because you have a thing for her, it doesn't mean that your weird suicidal ways are a good match for her understanding of unlife“ Jakob complained, saying a lot more than he had in days.

„Fuck you“ the Ravnos countered without much creativity. „She said we need to prepare ourselves for Gehenna, because we will be our own doom or salvation. How the fuck are YOU guys preparing for doomsday, huh? Because I am hunting those stronger than me to gain power, while you devote yourselves to petty distractions, so you don't have to see the inevitable coming and devouring all of us. You little shits are not helping at all, but she, of all people, REALIZES what's coming. So, please, tell me one more time, I want her to walk my path, because I like to fuck her! I want her to walk my path, because she knows the truth!“

„Oh, so you are saying the Path of the Feral Heart is a lie?“ Kim snarled.

„Kids, what did I say about fighting?“ Leonardo hissed from the front. „I advice you to shut up right now, if you want to keep your tongues. It'd be my pleasure to rip them out!“ And silence engulfed them once more. The Lasombra sighted in satisfaction. Finally some peace and quiet.


End file.
